*Zuck forces 45k employees to drink the Kool-Aid*
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TWC Logo

Hey there Weekday Warriors,

If Zuck thinks changing the name of everything at Facebook is going to make me forget about Cambridge Analytica, he's sorely mistaken.

And just in case you were worried, the billionaire space race is still very much a thing... and Virgin Galactic just upped the ante.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 41 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Snap necks and cash checks,

PS, my Twitter has been called a 'masterclass in sh*tposting.' If you're into that kinda thing, follow me @JPMorinChase. For pretty much anything else, shoot me a note at

Let's check in on the markets...

DOW +1.22% (-4.36% YTD)

S&P 500 +1.58% (-6.79% YTD)

NASDAQ +2.53% (-10.69% YTD)

10-YEAR YIELD (2.04%)

A few Russian troops went home sick from the Ukrainian front and markets celebrated like J-Poww just announced he was going to hold rates steady.

What about the meme stonks?


Source: @JPMorinChase


1) Roblox ($73.30) +7.29%

2) Nvidia ($264.95) +9.18%

3) Facebook ($221.00) +1.52%


1) Bitcoin ($44.1k) +4.62%

2) Ethereum ($3.11k) +7.42%

3) Dogecoin ($0.14988) +3.50%

1) Reflects 3 most discussed meme stonks over the past 24 hours
2) Sh*tcoin prices as of 4 PM EST


Meanwhile in the metaverse...


Source: Giphy

*Zuck forces 45k employees to drink the Kool-Aid*

Ahead of an all hands meeting to explain WTF a metaverse is to his underlings, Zuck took to Facebook to share some edits to Meta's employee handbook...

Like how from here on out Facebookers will be referred to as Metamates, which makes them sound like they've been tasked with repopulating earth after interplanetary conflict nearly wiped out the human race.

The 'book also announced plans to change the name of the News Feed to "Feed." Sean Parker as played by Justin Timberlake must have told Zuckerberg "Drop the 'News'. Just 'Feed'. It's cleaner."

Meanwhile, in the actual metaverse...

Roblox, which has been building a metaverse since before Zuck was getting stuffed in lockers by the Winklevii, reported earnings. And it got pwned, dropping 13% after hours.

The gaming company's revenue was bad ($770M vs. $772M), but its loss per share was of the rage-quit variety (25 cents per share vs. 13 cents expected).

Water Cooler Talking Point(s)...

"Of course, the biggest metaverse news of the day is this portrait of Jamie Dimon hanging at a JPMorgan digital storefront. It makes him look like some sort of Third World country dictator and should probably be hanging in the Louvre." - Tyler, The Water Coolest HQ


Some of you might find this hard to believe...


... but there's more to the world than earning beats and Elon tweets.

That's why Barstool's fearless leader, Erika Nardini, created the Things You Missed newsletter. It's a free daily email newsletter that's like a cheat sheet for happy hour.

It delivers curated entertainment, business, sports and global news directly to your inbox every evening at 6 PM EST.

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To the moon


Source: Giphy

Do you have a trust fund? And do you hate your parents?

Well then... Virgin Galactic has the opportunity of a lifetime for you. You can drop $450k of your deadbeat father's money to spend like 30-seconds in space.

Richard Branson's (that's Sir Richard Branson to you) space tourism company has finally opened up ticket sales to the public. And all for a completely reasonable $450k. If you want to save your spot, you'll have to pony up a $150k deposit, $25k of which is non-refundable.

To date SPCE has sold ~700 tickets, most of which have been reserved for years. Another 100 or so have been snatched up since last August. Which means if you buy now, you're more likely to get delivery of a Cybertruck before it's your turn to head to space.

But that wasn't the only big change for the company...

The Blue Origin knockoff is also replacing an image of Branson's iris in its logo with an outline of the Virgin spacecraft. Which makes sense considering Branson's sold more than $1.25B worth of shares since the company went public.

Investors DGAF...

The stock soared nearly 30% on the day... in true meme stonk fashion.

That's good news considering shares are down 80% over the past 12 months. The company has run into issues with the FAA for having gone off course during one of its flights. And investors didn't seem too happy about SPCE's plans to raise debt.

Water Cooler Talking Point(s)...

"Can I offer you some space junk debt?" - some banker with a strong dad joke game



Would a federal gas tax holiday mean lower prices at the pump? Don’t bet on it, critics say (Read)

Got $2,000? Here Are 2 Beaten-Down Growth Stocks To Buy Right Now (Read)

66 Best Dividend Stocks You Can Count On in 2022 (Read)

+ Yesterday's most read... 10 tech value stocks that at least 75% of analysts rate as a ‘buy’ right now (Read)


"Is that bad? Asking for a friend..." - you probably

Don't freak out, but...

Producer Price Index data, the more blue collar cousin of the Consumer Price Index, dropped yesterday. And it wasn't pretty.

PPI for January was further off the rails than Kanye this past weekend, climbing 1% on the month and 9.7% vs. the same period last year. The month-over-month print was nearly double expectations. Woof.

But, markets shrugged off the news, probably because they already freaked the f*ck out when Consumer Price Index data was released last week. The PPI print likely won't move the needle for the Fed, which is already keenly aware of how f*cked we all are.

"Oh my God, it's so big." - NBC

50 Cent wasn't the only one that was a little thicker at this year's Super B*wl...

Super B*wl ratings rebounded following an absolutely atrocious showing last year. In 2021 the Big Game drew just 96M viewers. Sunday's game attracted 112.3M on average.

That still came up short of dethroning the 2015 game, which drew 114M pairs of eyeballs.

The NFL and its sponsors (mostly crypto companies) weren't the only winners, though. It looks like this will be the biggest Super B*wl ever for legal sports gambling... by a wide margin.

NJ, for example, has already reported its sportsbooks' combined handle was 22.4% larger than last year.


+ This is worse than that time Boeing started making the 737 Max again. GM said it will restart production of Chevy Bolts in April. You might recall that a battery issue was causing Bolts to spontaneously combust last year. (Read more)

+ ViacomCBS is doing its best Meta impression. The entertainment giant is changing its name to Paramount Global (or simply, Paramount) to reflect its streaming ambitions (read: 'Yellowstone'). During the same investor presentation, Paramount brass said Paramount+ now boasts nearly 33M subscribers. (Read more)

Airbnb just made it official. The travel sector is officially back. Not you, cruise lines. The hotel killer dropped its Q4 earnings, and it posted its second consecutive profitable quarter. More importantly, the company expects nightly stays in the current quarter to exceed pre-pandemic levels. And if that didn't have investors going from six to midnight, Airbnb also shared annual revenue expectations well above analyst estimates. Shares jumped 6% after hours. (Read more)



Yesterday I asked...

Which industry won the Super Bowl ad game?

53.2% of weekday warriors responded Crypto
29.5% responded Electric vehicles
16.2% responded Brokerage
1.1% responded Other

The best other was by far "90’s kids, that’s who won the Super Bowl commercials."

It's that time of year again... hedge fund manager's payouts are making headlines, so here's today's questions...

Who is the most insufferable of all the hedgies?

(Submit your answer by tapping one of the choices below.)

☑️ Ken Griffin
☑️ Steve Cohen
☑️ Ray Dalio
☑️ Bill Ackman
☑️ Other (respond directly to this email)

Have an EXIT INTERVIEW question you want to pose to the masses? Submit it here.

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